the switchup

Yesterday as I gathering my things to leave for the day I looked at my book and my laptop laying next to each other on the couch. I had a mental rampage of disgust for my laptop for a few seconds. Carrying my laptop, 500 page book and glass bottle of spring water among other items in my tote bag had left me with a very irritating pain in my neck and shoulders. I said to myself- I don’t want to take my laptop today, it hurts me! Then reach for my book. Minutes later as I’m walking to my car I realize that my bag doesn’t feel any lighter. Well that was because my laptop was in my bag. I stormed back upstairs, baffled at to how it got in. I was so determined NOT to put it in my bag yet I had grabbed it instead of my book.

Do you see my lesson? It took me a minute to figure it out, but it was clear once I realized it. Somebody/something/goddess was trying to make me see that I have been focusing too much on what I don’t want. And of course whatever you focus on your receive, whether it’s what you don’t want or what you do want. I realized that my motivation lately has been to avoid things I don’t want. Obviously this worry strategy wasn’t working. So today I decided to shift my focus. I’m thinking about the ways in which I am taking care of the things I do want. Tonight I have an appointment for a relaxing night at the spa for a scrub and massage. What I wanted was relief from the pain, and I’m getting it now that I changed my focus. Look for little instances like these in your life. They are likely reminders to switch from fear to love.

Posted on February 3, 2012

Why I Shaved My Head

On December 30^th, 2011 I sat in my bathtub and let my fiancé hack off all of my hair. Now if you know me you know I have a massive amount of curly hair. It’s probably the first thing people notice about me. Well now the first thing they notice is my lack of hair. I’m Sinead O’Disa right now and it’s a pretty bold look. When someone sees me the first question is usually something along the lines of “what prompted this?” It’s natural to wonder what prompted such an extreme change. Was I having a Britney Spears moment? Did I suddenly decide I wanted to be an Amber Rose look alike? The answer is a little too complex for me to dish out in a 30 second elevator speech. So I thought I would flesh it out in written word.

The biggest reason I decided to shave my head and the deciding factor in getting my fiancé to fully back this decision had to do with fear. Have you ever been given the advice to do something that scares you everyday? I’m pretty sure it was Finding Your True North Star by Martha Beck that pinned this idea into my head. Martha wrote about how doing little things that you want to do, yet scare you, can keep you on track towards your right path in life. She gave a great example of how she joined the debate team, not because she wanted to experience the challenge and thrill of debating but because she had a crush on the captain of the debate team. Her passion drove her to do it. And once she did she actually fainted in the middle of her speech. The worst possible outcome happened, and she lived through it. Thereafter Martha’s fear of public speaking was gone. It’s a powerful story, yet it took me a few months after reading it to dive in on my own.

After reading that passage from Martha I had made a list of things that things that I wanted to do but absolutely scared me, as instructed. The next instruction was to start doing these scary things. I realized that I would never get wear I really want to be in life if I don’t tackle these fears. I also realized that for what I see happening in the year ahead I just might be tackling some other fears. I figured it was time to get started. Shaving my head was something I have longed for for a couple years. I realized that if I eliminated the need to do my hair in the morning I would have more time do the things I really want to do when starting my day like yoga, meditation or preparing an amazing breakfast. Not to mention all the money I would save on products and salon visits. This was the easiest and most immediately rewarding item on my list. So I did it. I did it with knots in my stomach. Heck I has knots and butterflies. I kept reminding myself how great it would look by studying my “bald headed women” pinboard with pictures of beautiful women with similar features to my own. Once it all came off I immediately felt amazing. I felt so liberated and fresh. It took some getting use to but now nearly two weeks after the buzz I can imagine myself never going back to the cumbersome rituals associated with my long natural curls. Now for the next thing on my list….

Posted on January 15, 2012

baldy!